But as I read more and more of the cases filed day after day, from dramatic family relations cases to action-packed criminal cases, I am quite doubtful if just and fairness will really prevail soon. From personally perceived wrong judgment rendered by the courts, have starved with no food to eat, down to those oppressed who were not even able to voice out their sentiments, I began to be so cynical about these just things. Yes, I’ve read, known and felt the bests and also the worst of our justice system and it almost lose my hope in love and happy endings.
That’s probably why, as soon as those two tiny red lines appeared at the Pregnancy Kit test, my boyfriend was about to jump as I frantically thought of weird images appearing into my mind. Bulging stomach, delivery pains, ruined studies and career, and worst, being stuck with one man for the rest of my life. Phew! The last thought made me shiver. Well, don’t get me wrong. Not that I don’t want this. Of course, I do want this. After all, I’m 30, afraid of high risk pregnancy and complications that come with the age. So, here it is now, my so long planned and wanted pregnancy. But damn, it’s The Man. Wait, again, not that I don’t love or want The Man, the soon to be father of my baby, but girls, do you get me? Yes, I want his genes for my baby. But if men have these fears of getting tied and stuck up with one woman for the rest of their lives, well, we women do feel the same. The thought of being a typical good wife, waiting for her husband to come home, cooking for him, having to sleep beside him every night of your life, plus the thought of “what if the right one comes along?” Oh, crap. One thing for sure, I am ready to be a mother, but no, I am not yet ready to be a wife.
However, I do have an option, right? I can be a single mom. That’s not bad. Well, many women chose that courageous path. But not all had those options, some just don’t have a choice but to be a single mom. So lucky me, I got to choose, then here comes My Family in the picture. My Family, my OH so conservative family. Plus, The Society. The OH so conventional society where I belong. This is something not normal for them. Single motherhood has always been equated to stupidity, misery, agony, intrigues, poor-integrity and hopelessness. And that will surely disappoint and break the hearts of My Family.
And while these battling thoughts tried to crack the nerves in my head, here comes The Man. Something in his face makes me worry so much. Must it be his hair or the unfamiliar look in his eyes. And The Man gave me an evil smile, a grin that almost made me puke. He started to bend his one foot, knelt down and then I witnessed the most scariest thing he ever did in our entire relationship, he took out something from his pocket, a tiny box, a red tiny box, opened it, and asked those words “Dang, will you marry me?” and I fainted.
It must be the hormones or something that I started to really feel odd and wondered what the hell I was going through. Something so unexpected and unexplainable came through me, as my tears started to pour out. No, this is not me. I felt so happy, so enchanted and so bedazzled that my eyes were stuck on that tiny thing inside that tiny red box. Of course, it was a ring, just as what I was expecting. But it was really more than just a ring. It must have been a ring that must have emerged from the deepest oceans or crust on earth. It must have been a ring some bourgeoisie women lost when Titanic sank. Oh my, The Ring is a Diamond ring.
A diamond ring polished into perfection. A diamond that took millions of years to produce it, took thousand of miners’ lives to obtain it and countless efforts to perfect it into a very precious ring. From that mined hard rough stone that requires a very delicate and tedious procedure, extraordinary skills, scientific knowledge, tools, time and experience to produce this lustrous jewel. As what I felt right now, diamonds are extremely hard but also brittle and can be split up by a single blow, just like I am splitting now.
The used to be very hard-headed, hard-hearted me, is melting into something more meaningful, more valuable. This diamond made me realize that after all the natural and chemical process it has been through, until a perfect gem was produced, it was all worth it. It was all worth the time, the effort, the risks, the lives, the waiting, the adventures to become priceless. The justness it characterizes of how trials and challenges will soon pay-off and bring something very precious in your life. So while they say diamonds are forever, I must say Diamonds symbolizes justice. And off went my fears, my anxieties, my uncertainties, my paranoia. It guaranteed me every best thing in the future. This diamond ring justified everything.
And as I cried and was about to emote further, The Man shook me and brought me back to reality. Teary-eyed me asked him, “How did u get this precious thing, honey?” and he casually answered “Oh, I cant find something here so I surfed the net to find the loveliest gift for my honey and baby, I hope u love it and I hope you’ll marry me.” Speechless, no need to say anything. What can I say to The Man and to this Diamond ring that sparkled and brought back the brightness in me? Now, I still dream t of being Ma’at, still holding a sword and a balance scale, but of course more glowing as I have those precious diamond ring in my finger. Indeed, diamonds are womens’ best friends, even mens’ too, because every woman is worth it.
Like me, I am in bliss, The Man is now My Man and I am engaged.